Yes, and it’s back to school for us! Summer flew by so quickly. But the kids are excited. I am well, not very – because that means scheduling conflicts. Now, Connor gets off at 1pm. I suddenly have a problem of – do I have lunch before I leave? or do I have lunch when I get back? How do I pump my milk for Shobe? My milk supply has not been outstanding – it has been just enough for Shobe. My right boob is not working – and so it really frustrates me so much! I am sad but what can I do right? I was told to slow down, but how does one slow down – I mean really? Remember when I slowed down during Holy Week, only to get really really sick? It was so ironic really – but what was I to do but roll with the punches? So many crazy things really and I’m starting to adjust. Add to that – my aunt, the sister of my mom who was recently diagnosed with recurrence of endometrial cancer. I have been the runner for her and her needs. I have taken time out to accompany her during her chemotherapy sessions and stays in the hospital. For the past months, it has been hectic and stressful. I never thought I would be the same as with the stories I hear for being in the hospital waiting for results, nor running to the Red Cross and Philippine Blood Center to purchase blood and platelets. I have a new found respect for blood donors, not to mention the wonderful staff in these blood centers that makes blood available for patients. I have spoken with people from different walks of life who were with me waiting for their blood purchases. I never thought that one day, I will be needing a pack or more for a loved one. Donating blood does save lives and I am forever grateful to donors every where. I never thought too that this journey would be emotionally draining. It is physically draining, but emotionally – I needed to be available for my loved ones. My mom, my aunt, my family and my children. I am thankful that my Panget is understanding of these circumstances – and that my children too are not demanding too much. I do my best explaining to them why mommy is away a lot of times. I am thankful and grateful to technology that allows me to be in communication with them with a tap on my phone. I get to speak to them and see them when I can. Currently, I have three direct relatives who have cancer. An aunt and two uncles (one from each side of the family) and this only means one thing – the chances are high of me having cancer. It’s in my genes. But is it really genetics? I’m an not sure – some say it is, while some say it isn’t. But one thing I should be is CAREFUL. But how does one be careful? I mean seriously, how does one be careful? I have a friend who’s dad runs 2 kilometers a day and never smoked in his life – but contracted lung cancer. He recently passed away too. He was quite depressed because, a short time after his diagnosis, he was unable to walk because the muscles in his legs were gone. Right now, all I can do is pray. Pray that I be given strength to serve my aunt. Mental strength, emotional strength and physical strength also wisdom. I hope you can pray for me in this trying time.
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