Who would have thought that we’d experience a pandemic?
Who would have thought that we’d be in lockdown?
Who would have thought that we’d still be in lockdown and nearing two years in?
Last weekend, I was able to bring my children inside Connor’s school – Xavier. We received an email saying that the school decided to offer their school grounds to current students for them to enjoy a break – or a change of venue. There was a list of venues where we can reserve and use for 2 hours. We’ll just need to register and reserve the dates, time, and venue that we liked. We then will receive a confirmation a few days before our intended date. It was my friend Kath who told me to book – and I booked it, even if I didn’t know what I would be doing there. Hahaha!! I just thought, maybe a change in scenery (like going back to a familiar place) might be of help to my mental health as well as my children’s mental health.
I still can’t believe that we’ve been in lockdown this long! Being stuck at home made us want to rethink options on where and how to relax at home. I discovered this hammock online! I know it’s a bit out of topic – but check it out! https://www.thehammock.co.uk/ It looks really interesting right? Something for the family to enjoy – something for our mental and emotional health.
One of the first things that came into mind was – how will we deal with other people being in the same venue. Having been sort of isolated for nearing two years now, the thought of socializing with other people seems like a struggle mentally. But then I trusted the school enough to assume that they would be handling it very well, as they usually do.
As our car entered the once forbidden Gate 1 of Xavier School – I felt a bit of kilig because I never got to enter this gate before! The HS building I was familiar with was now quiet and still. There were no boys walking around, no noise but only the sound of wind and the falling leaves. It was strange and familiar at the same time. As we walked uphill – a guard greeted us ‘Good Afternoon’ – I knew that underneath the mask, he was giving us a smile. It’s so strange with masks – I wanted to see that smile and I wanted the Kuya guard to see my smile and delight to be back – but well, masks were needed. Kuya guard then led us to the Grade School Canteen area, and then there – I saw the empty quadrangle.
When I think of Xavier – it’s always the quadrangle that comes to mind. It looks a bit different from what I remember but, it’s still generally the same. I just couldn’t believe my eyes that the school was empty. EMPTY. It was a very strange thing to see really, something like a twilight zone of sorts. But guess what, we’re still literally in a twilight zone!
We then went ahead and walked to the EED – the Early Education Department. That was where I chose to let my children play – because it had a playground right smack in the middle. When Shobe saw the slides she immediately ran to it! Kailee was in awe too! Connor, well – I don’t know what he was feeling, he was just looking around. Hahaha! I stood there looking around at first, and them remembering where Connor’s classroom was when he was in Grade 1. And then I looked further up and then around. It was eerily silent, it seemed like time stood still. I forget that it’s just and empty playground, another empty building of classrooms. While the children were playing around, I walked around the outside the classrooms, peeking inside. I don’t know why I did that – but I think I was looking for something that I didn’t know. And then I saw something that shook me – it was a class schedule posted on the glass window – it was a Class Schedule SY 2019 – 2020.
Man, seeing that – pulled so much heart strings, I was enveloped with melancholy, I didn’t expect to feel emotional – but I did. Seeing that schedule brought back emotions I couldn’t even identify. Events & scenes suddenly came pouring back – that fateful day in March 2020, when we were all forced to go on a lockdown without warning. School stopped abruptly, life was paused, a hard pause. It honestly seemed like we had evacuated – fast and never returned. My friend Vida puts it – it seemed watching a documentary on Chernobyl or Fukushima – having people comeback to relive the events from when they left. But from where I was – I was reliving the days coming up to the lockdown. I still remember it like it were just yesterday – I even remember who I was speaking to at that time when I picked Connor up from school not knowing that things would turn out the way they did.
It made me realized that the school grounds was also on a standstill. Reminders were still taped on the windows, allergy reminders, class lists, awards, random reminders, class schedules, names of teachers and more. It was such a sad reminder for of what happened on that fateful day of March 2020. It was like things in the school were frozen in time. If you’re a fan of the sci fi TV show Fringe – it seemed like Xavier School was trapped in amber but without people trapped in the amber.
It was so sad and heartbreaking to see the guards to be honest. I knew they were happy to see us, and we were happy to see them. But thinking of what they used to do for our boys – watching over our boys, taking care of their needs (even if it’s not their job to do so), now they’re just looking after the empty school and waiting for the time that the boys can come back again. I’m sure they miss the boys, the noise, and the chaos too. I wanted to hold their hands and tell them THANK YOU for taking care of the boys (because I never had the opportunity to thank them before) and the school grounds for us.
The visit was very emotional for me but I am very very grateful for the opportunity to come back and visit the school. It made me really happy to see that the facilities are still well kept. Thank you Xavier! Thank you for the pockets of wellness.
