Having Faith

Faith. What does it mean to have faith?  Honestly, I’m all new to this *faith* thing.  I mean I grew up Catholic, and I took it for granted.  I never realized that having a relationship with God was something I should prioritize. I mean I prayed, but not everyday.  I would recite the rosary every so often because it was something I believed in.  But only during times of trials do I feel that I needed to pray. I honestly wonder why that is always most often the case. They say that when you find yourself alone and faced with difficulties – that’s the only time we pray.  I admit – that was how my faith was started.  I remember it was last 2006 that I suddenly felt the urge to pray.  Honestly, it was a last resort.  I didn’t know what to do and I realized that I needed a higher being to calm my mind down.  It was 2006 that we experienced hardship, something I never thought would happen, happened.  It was then that I started my journey of faith. I am very proud to say that since then, I’ve never missed a Sunday Mass – well the only exceptions were when I was in GeLai (the Fil-Chi tradition of resting for a month without going out) but I heard TV Mass.  I find that whenever I hear Mass, I feel a positive vibe.  That somehow things aren’t as complicated as I thought they were.  I feel a certain lift – I can’t explain it, but I do. There are times that I cry during Mass – and I can’t explain the surge of emotions.  There are times too that I feel so happy that I cry happy tears.  I feel overwhelmed with emotions – I can’t explain it. I have friends and family members who I sooooo admire because their faith is very strong.  Someday, I would like to have the same strength in faith that they have.  It’s really admirable. I guess I realized that having faith somehow helps us cling on to something that is beyond our control.  I always tell myself – Tiwala lang!  But it’s hard too you know, hanging on to something.  I realized too that if you let it go and offer it to God, He will make something possible.  He will do something to uplift you.  It may not be what you want nor asked for but it’s something you will need (that you don’t know you need). To the 2 K’s in my life.  Both your faith in the Lord is admirable.  I can’t even tell you how much I am in awe of your faith in Him.  I wish your faithfulness to Him will rub off on me.  I see the calm in your lives and I want that too. To L, despite the challenges you face, you have showed me (and everyone) how strong you are and how you get your strength in Him despite the rough patches. I wish I found my faith sooner – but I guess everyone has their own journey to their faith.   Sorry, did this post make sense?  hahaha!!:) Have a good Tuesday. (Multitasking.. Meeting and blogging.  Hahaha!!)