Why I’ve been away…

You guessed right – I just gave birth last week to a beautiful baby girl, and that’s why I’ve been out of the loop.  The journey has been unbelievable, I still can’t believe that I’m a mom now, I still feel the same, I still think the same – the only difference is that, I have a new love – my Baby K.
 

I sleep less now because I breastfeed, but I don’t mind – it’s good for her, and anything good for her – I will do.  I can’t believe I am saying these things.  But seriously having a baby really changes you – one way or another.  I’ve never seen my Panget so attentive to anyone (well he was with me on our wedding day!) as he is with K.  He loves touching her, smelling her and he talks to her every so often!  He’s soooooo in love with her!  And it makes me so happy to see him like that!

Going back – I actually didn’t know I was already in labor, when I was.  So here goes my birthing story!  I am warning you, I may give too much information!  Hahahaha…..

Three Saturdays ago, my Panget and I were advised by my OB to do a lot of walking.  And walking my Panget and I did, we went to Megamall and Podium to walk.  I was honestly exhausted after an hour of walking, but I didn’t mind.

Last March 4, my Panget suggested that we go to Trinoma for a walk.  Since I still needed some nice PJs the walk attracted some shopping, and since my Panget was sponsoring – it was a welcome discomfort.  Hahahaha!!  We walked for over two hours, I was quite tired we even bumped into my best friend and her fiance, my BFF said that my tummy was still a bit high!  I honestly didn’t know what having a low tummy meant!  Hahaha..

The next day, my Panget and I visited a designer, and when we got to my mom’s place – I noticed that I already had a bloody show.  I was honestly nervous when I saw the blood, I can’t tell you what ran through my head – I mean, I thought – this was it!  When I told my Panget, my mom and my aunt over lunch about the bloody show – they were all freakingly CALM!  They told me that it may just be nothing.  Good thing that I had an OB appointment that afternoon!  So after lunch, when we got home – I packed so hurriedly!

When we got to the clinic, I was jumpy – my Panget was telling me to stay calm, but how the hell can I be calm – if I was already in labor!  I was nervous and excited and scared – a ton of feeling was overwhelming me, I honestly couldn’t figure out if I was nervous or what!  So when the doctor saw me, she told me that I just had dilated 1cm, and that it may take at least a week more.  She told me to keep easy on my walking and that I shouldn’t get tired anymore.  So, false alarm!

That same afternoon, I went to the supermarket with my mom and that same evening, i felt my contractions.  I tried to time them, but they were too far apart – thus, I just dismissed the mild discomfort and slept through the night.  The next morning, I still felt the contractions, but they were farther apart and not as irritable.  I was still able to attend Mass and have dinner with my Panget’s friends, and they were all telling me that I looked so ready to pop!

That same night, I couldn’t sleep – I couldn’t stop thinking that this might be it.  The contractions started creeping its way at about 12midnight, I was actually watching 24 Season 7.  I couldn’t sleep because I wanted to watch more and more episodes!  The discomfort was becoming closer and closer, but they weren’t consistent.  I would feel them every five to ten minutes, some were not painful while some were testing my pain threshold.  I slept at about 4am it was the only time I felt relaxed enough to sleep.

The next morning, when my Panget was about to leave for his office, I told him that I was in a bit of pain – and that I might be giving birth sooner than expected.  He just told me to call him if the pain becomes unbearable.  I was able to dress up and get ready for work too – but when I went down, I contemplated if I should drive myself or call for a driver.  But I decided to drive myself, since it was just a short distance.  And when I got to the office, I asked my mom if what I was feeling was labor pains – her response to me was she didn’t know because she didn’t go through the labor pains!  How lucky was she!  She told me that she only experienced having her water break – and that was it, since she was due for a CS (Cesarean Section) she never felt the pain, the only pain she felt was from the stitches which was after the delivery.

I then decided to text my OB – she told me that if they were become 20 minutes apart and I get a bit uneasy I can go to the hospital to get myself checked.  This message was sent to me at about 10am.  I contemplated, whether I should go or not, I didn’t want to seem to eager, but I wanted to know if I was giving birth soon or not.  I was still able to enjoy lunch, but the contractions were getting uncomfortable, my mom kept on telling me just to say when I wanted to go to the hospital because she would take me.  I was honestly lazy to go, I mean I thought that I might still be asked to go home!  But then chatting with my sister in law convinced me enough to go up and leave for the hospital.  It was about about 4:30pm, my mom told me to go home and take a shower, but then I asked her if she thought I would be giving birth already and she said no, and so there.  We were ready to leave, and then I remembered – I needed to bring my admissions letter at Cardinal – apparently, I left it at home!  So I had to go home and get it, and after – we headed to the hospital.

I think we reached the hospital at about 5:30 to 6pm and when we got to the pre-labor room, they did an internal exam on me and told me that I was already 5cm.  I asked the nice resident Dr. Janina Go if I could still go home to take a bath and get my things – but she said no since I was already half way.  They were going to admit me already and so I called my Panget to tell him that I was already being admitted, that he needed to get get my bag at home and go to the hospital.  He was worried that he might not make it on time, but I was confident that he will.  Dra. Go was nice enough though to give me a sachet of shampoo so I could take a bath in my room.  My mom was informed that I was being admitted, she asked the resident the same thing – if I could still go home to shower!  Hahahaha, unfortunately they didn’t want me going anywhere already.   So my mom went to the admissions office to get me and my Panget a room.  She texted me the room number and I was wheeled in there.  I told my mom the nice deed the doctor did and that I needed to shower but the problem was – I didn’t have any towel!  A good 10 minutes after that, my Panget arrived!  Good thing, he brought a towel – I showered immediately but carefully, and right after – there was a wheelchair waiting for me to wheel me back to the labor room, I said my byes to my Panget and my mom.

When I was wheeled into the labor room, the resident did another IE on me and told me that I was already 7cm.  And that they will be contacting the anesthesiologist to give me an epidural already.  They strapped my tummy with two kinds of monitors – one was for the baby’s heartbeat and another was to monitor my contractions.  They were actually telling me that I have a high threshold for pain – to which I disagreed!  But they told me that the contractions I have been experiencing was already strong, yet they can only see me wince once in a while.  I said, I was actually expecting to feel more pain, and that the pain I was feeling was bearable.  In a few minutes, I met my anesthesiologist – the pretty Dra. Lisa Nieto – she told me what she was going to do but I told her that I didn’t want details because I was afraid of needles!  She was really nice and helped me through the epidural procedure.  It took her quite a while to insert the tubes – because of the heavy edema on my back – she told me that it was a blind procedure because she had to do everything by touch.  Once the put the tubes in – the pain was becoming less – and I was relaxed again.

At about 10:00pm – I was only up to 8cm, but I felt pain and so I asked for some more epidural – my anesthesioligist wondered why I asked because I wasn’t due for another push – she then checked and decided to do the epidural procedure once again – on my other side.  It was a bit easier the second time around – mainly because my Panget was there with me cheering me on, the discomfort was the same – I moved almost immediately as they sprayed antiseptic on my back and when they inserted the needles – but after that – the discomfort was instantly gone.  The nurses and the residents all said that for sure I felt better because I was chatty again!  Out of boredom, I think I was able to interview most of the nurses and residents who were tending to me – you see, I can’t seem to keep quiet!  And even while in labor, I was still chatty – even if there was a TV in the labor room.  I can’t seem to help it!  Hahaha…  A few minutes later my OB arrived, and since my water bag hasn’t ruptured, she decided to rupture it.  Since I was on anesthesia – I couldn’t feel a thing, well – except for the gush of water that I felt flow – ladies, you know the ‘sudden gush’ that we feel whenever its that time of the month, it felt like that.  An hour passed and I was nearing 10cm!  The doctors claimed that we will hit the 12midnight mark, and that I will be giving birth March 8!  All I could think about was that my baby will have the same birthdate as one of our ninangs during the wedding!  Hahahaha..  What coincidence right?  My Ninang Tina told me a few months ago that she will remember my due date because its a few days after her birthday – and now, she will remember because they have the same birth date! 

By 12 midnight, I was already fully dilated – the doctors decided that it was time, and so they wheeled me in the delivery room.  When I got there, I thought to myself ‘So this is what the delivery room looks like!’  When they were transferring me to the ‘bed’ I suddenly was experiencing chills – I asked about this and apparently, this was normal – it was apparently the effect of the anesthesia in my body.  I thought that it was because the delivery room was really cold – even if it really was!

There was a huge clock on the wall in front of me – the clock had the time 12:20am, and when my OB did another IE on me, she said that the baby was still ‘mataas’ and that she should give her more time to go down.  And so we waited, and waited and waited – we even practiced pushing, to help bring the baby down – but after practicing for an hour and a half, the baby was still high!  It was only then that I noticed that most of the doctors and nurses were sleeping or resting!  The wait apparently was long, but for me it seemed like a short while – I mean, time flew by so fast for me, isn’t that weird?  The residents also told me that I was pushing less and less stronger now – maybe I was tired, to which I disagreed!  I said that I was hungry and thirsty, and without food, I had no strength to push anymore!  And so by 1:30am, my OB checked again and decided that – I had to go a C-Section since the baby wasn’t getting any lower.  She reassured me that even if I pushed (a very good push) the baby still didn’t want to go down!  She said that she will just talk to my Panget about it.  I asked if we can still try pushing to which she said not to do anymore, that I should keep whatever strength that I had.  At that point, I was already too hungry and thirsty to argue.  The only thing that went through my mind was that this procedure would be costly!  But heck, we didn’t have a choice already!  So when it was decided to have a C-Section, my anesthesiologist went beside me and told me to relax and that she will take care of everything for me and for me not to worry.  As the nurses and doctors were preparing for the procedure – I asked my anesthesiogist ‘Can I go to sleep now?’  to which she replied yes, and that was the last thing I remembered.  I slept through the procedure, I didn’t even know that my Panget was with me the whole time!

I don’t know if I was woken up or if I woke up on my own – but the next thing I heard was the baby crying loudly!  All i remember was hearing my Panget say to me ‘She’s beautiful!’ and giving me a kiss on the forehead, and that was it.  I think I was too groggy to remember things, but I think I remember saying ‘Thank you!’ to everyone who was at the DR because I knew that they helped me give birth.  It didn’t even occur to me how I was stitched up!  It was my Panget who asked!  I also remember hearing my OB tell the nurses to clean me up very well, because I will be going through the ‘ge-lai’ the Chinese tradition of one month’s rest/no baths!

The next thing I knew was that I was being wheeled into the recovery room, and that I would need to stay there for the next four hours or so.  And so I slept there, waking up every hour (it seemed clockwork) to breastfeed – its so weird that a few minutes after waking up, I’d hear the baby’s bassinet being wheeled to me for breastfeeding – the nurse would do the latching and holding the baby in place while she latched on.  I remember waking up and seeing my OB’s resident – I asked her what the reason was why the baby didn’t want to come down – she said that when they opened me up, the baby was facing upward instead of facing downward – I guess that was reason enough, since they couldn’t see through me, right?

Time flew by so fast for me when I got admitted, I don’t know why but it seemed like every time I looked at the clock – it was after an hour or so already.  The wait was torture for my Panget and my mom especially – they waited and waited without any news!  My mom was the most worried, she wondered why I haven’t given birth when more than 6 hours have passed already, she then told my Panget to suggest that I go through a C-Section if it will help ease the delivery.  Little did she know that I was comfortable inside the Labor room, that I had a TV to keep me company and nurses and doctors who would tend to me.  It was only after I wheeled into my room that I was able to tell her my side of the story.  She then thought that all her worries was for nothing!  Hahaha.. I think that’s what mommies are for – they do the worrying for you.

In the end, I think I got what I wanted – a pain-free delivery!  I prayed so hard for this pain-less procedure so that I won’t get scared going through it again next time.  I was so keen on going through the normal delivery – because the anesthesia worked!  But my baby Kailee (pronounced as K-Lee) was just too shy to come out, that my OB had to go in and get her! 

Thanks for all the well wishes and support!

Thank you for all the love!

My Panget and I are very happy to have our little Kailee with us now, even if she cries soooo loudly when hungry.  The short sleeps that I have are all worth it when I see that she’s satisfied, I just hope that my milk supply will be able to fill her full!!

We love you Kailee Inara!! 🙂